Thursday, March 17, 2016

How it all begins

It all starts with an errant eyebrow hair, one hair that is sticking up at a different angle from the rest of the brow. Tweezers in hand you negotiate the hand eye coordination with the complexity of inverting directions to match the reflected image in the mirror. After numerous failed attempts to pinch the end of the hair there is success.

At first gently lifting the transgressive hair from the brow it becomes immediately apparent that this shock lock is not only growing in a direction that opposes the natural order of things in the brow department but it is also alarmingly long.

What first appeared to be a hair growing wildly in the middle of the brow turns out to be a mutation anchored at the beginning of the brow growing secretively along with the other shorter hairs. It remained unnoticed until taking an unprecedented turn upwards.

The second attribute of note is its thickness. If an average strand of hair could hold 100g (equivalent of approximately two Mars bars) then this wayward facial follicle could hold a family block of chocolate.

The third disturbing property of this tenacious tress is how strongly it is anchored to the face at is root. If plucking an ordinary may leave a sensation the likes of a small pin prick then plucking this bad boy leaves a sensation being pierced by the needle of an industrial sewing machine.

What hurts most is the knowledge that this will not be the last. This single hair was merely a forward scout, doing reconnaissance for the army that is on the slow but inevitable march forward.

Plucking them is the only meagre defence against the oncoming old man eyebrow.

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