Monday, April 27, 2015

Toothpaste is only mint flavoured

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Toothpaste, guaranteed to ruin the flavour of any food or beverage for the nest 30 -45 minutes, the only natural enemy of orange juice.  For some reason it only comes in mint flavoured

With all of the diversity in products why not branch out in flavours. Chocolate flavoured for singles and romantics, ice cream flavoured for children, kale for hipsters,  skinny cafĂ© latte with a shot of hazelnut for Melbourne’s office workers and bitter regret for the elderly.

Toothpaste comes in different size, shapes and colours including striped. Toothpaste is now branching out just like Tim Tams.

As a child there was only one type of Tim Tam biscuit now there are ten flavours including 5 “limited edition” flavours. I suspect that they are limited to the number of packets they can sell.

In the same way Toothpaste has gone beyond the childhood novelty of a green or blue gel instead of the traditional white paste. Now there are so many choices; hydro peroxide, baking soda, sugar neutraliser, sensitive, antibacterial, stain removing, breath freshening, enamel strengthening, micro cleansing and cavity prevention.

According to toothpaste manufacturers websites, each of the toothpaste products are clinically proven to prevent cavities, gum disease and bad breath as well as whiten teeth. If they all have the same clinically proven benefits, then it might suggest that they are, in fact, all the same.

Surely if the technology has in fact improved, as the clinically proven result imply, then surely for the medical benefit of all consumers then any previous recipes should be taken off the market.

Does your choice of toothbrush affect the type of toothpaste that should be used? If my toothbrush has built in plaque removing and whitening features do I still need these recipes in my toothpaste?

With different length bristles, built in tongue cleaners, gum massagers and cheek scrapers brush head that are angled, zigzagged, layered, inlayed with charcoal built in floss and finger and thumb grips that are now ribbed for her pleasure a consumer need a doctorate in physical, chemistry and biology to make their dental hygiene purchases

What dental cleaning products should vegans choose?

With all of these choices it is worth remembering that scientific studies have suggested that gnawing of certain would be just as effective, if not more so, than the no longer humble toothbrush and toothpaste.

Friday, April 10, 2015

Obituary - Richie Benaud in 222 words

Richie Benaud was the embodiment of Australian sporting culture. A champion of the game of cricket during his paying career and a champion for the game in the commentary box.

The voice of summer.

He was respected and loved by everyone from MCC Members, to the last drunken yobbo I the outer, Ritchie Benaud was cricket.

I did not see him play but his record shows he changed the game as an aggressive all rounder and extraordinarily successful captain. Leading the on-air commentary of World Series Cricket he told the world about the biggest changes in the history of the sport.

It was Benaud’s dulcet tones that brought limited-overs cricket to the world, explaining the rules and nuances of the game to everyone.

With perpetual debates about “what is Australian culture?” One simple answer is “Richie Benaud”. Hard working, loves summer, loves sport, fiercely competitive on the field, a great mate off it, with a great sense of humour.

Richie has won many awards for his playing and broadcasting around the world. The greatest accolade is that he is known the everywhere as “Richie”. Before PR managers, personal brands, and social media he was known simply as Richie. He was everyone’s mate.

To his wife Daphne, I want to thankyou for graciously sharing Richie with the world for more than 60 years.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2015 - In Pictures

I performed my fourth solo show "A Freak By Any Other Name". Highlights include a sell out show and an international show with friends streaming the show live from Denver Colorado.

Yes they are jazz hands

Mum and Dad front and centre

Opening song

Stand Up In The Attik

Downstairs Lounge @ Grand Mercure

One of them is a couch

stand up

Poster on the Information Booth

A love poem

"Leggings are not pants"

Let's talk about Easter

"Don't Pity Me"

Opening night audience