Unlucky 7

God reportedly created the earth in seven days. If taken literally, this is quite a feat. But just like renovation make over shows that rebuild a property in only a matter of weeks if not days you have to question the quality. There has to be a few things that God sits back during time of self reflection and thinks “ok, so I could have done better there.

Volcanoes. If nothing else it proves  that the soil – like an old hot water system – of heats a bit and as a result leaks occasionally.

Platypus. Don’t tell me this wasn’t one of his first creations as he tried out a few component parts. Duck bill, beaver body, mammal but lays eggs, poisonous spine that would eventually find its way onto scorpions and some fish.

People. Enough said?

Sure he looked at what he created at the end of each day and saw that it was good. Imagine what earth would be like if he took his time and saw that things were great.

We have a seven day week, in theory to represent the seven days of creation. Who hasn’t said if only there were more days in a week? When it comes to employment or household jobs there is always the desire for more time. Whether it is to complete more tasks or be less rushed with the tasks to improve the quality. No-one likes to create a platypus. Alternatively just to have another day to rest. God appears to have rushed both his work and his rest (on the seventh day he rested).

There are seven colours in the rainbow, and hasn’t that proved to be lucky for the LGBT community. That might explain why they really only use six colours. To be honest indigo always sounded a bit gay anyway. There is never a Leprechaun at the end of it and definitely no pot of gold.

Game of Thrones the people of Westeros worship the seven gods (The Mother, The Father, The Warrior, The Crone, The Smith, The Maiden and The Stranger) and there are seven kingdoms (The North, Iron Lands, The Vale, The Westerlands, The Reach, the Stormlands and the Dorne). Although this is all proving to be more than lucky for the author George R.R. Martin and for the senior management of HBO. There is not much luck for the people who live in the area. Sure the sex appears to be pretty free and easy but so is death. What does appear to be an indication of luck if penning epic fantasy narratives is to have initials in your name. Lord of the Rings – J.R.R Tolkien, Harry Potter – J.K. Rowling.

Like GoT, Japanese mythology also has seven gods. Seven Lucky Gods at that

Hotei, the fat and happy god of good health. Fat may be jolly but it is not healthy.

Jurojin the god of long life, clearly a god who did not live near Fukushima…or maybe he did!

Fukurokuju the god of happiness wealth and long life. Lucky to be a god, but not lucky enough to have his own portfolio. Like a Parliamentary Secretary, the title sounds impressive but turns out to be nothing more than number one dog’s body to the Minister. If the Japanese Gods were a theatre group, Fukurokuju would be the understudy.

Bishamonten god of warriors. War is not lucky for anyone. Ever.

Benzaiten the goddess of knowledge, art and beauty. What a patronising title. She may as well be goddess of cooking, light cleaning and babies. Secondly being the only female in the group who know at some point all of the gods are going to at least try it on. “Want to really get lucky? I’m a god!”

Daikokuten the god of wealth, commerce and trade. Another of Fukurokuju’s bosses. To be honest Daikoku (as he is known to his friends) has proven to be a lucky god for Japan, at least in the 70s to 90s. Japan was king in the manufacturing world of electronics and textiles, until Bali and Thailand discovered the art of counterfeit. All luck runs out sometime and for Dikoku and the Japanese people it was the day Tony Abbott declared he wants Japan to be his Asian BFF.

Ebisu god of fishers and merchants. Ebisu works closely with Daikoku to sell Japanese made product around the world. The 2011 tsunami and resulting nuclear disaster has put paid to any luck that the Japanese fishing industry.

If seven is so lucky why are there seven deadly sins. There were also seven Beethoven movies including five that went straight to video and seven editions in the Smokey and the Bandit franchise including four that were made just for television, not even video.

Sport of Kings

It is the race that stops the nation. For 3 minutes, albeit that many people will use this as an excuse to stop work for about an hour. Organising the sweep, setting up the office TV, afternoon tea (with champagne) prior to the race and then following the race their will be the gloating by the sweep winner and the complaining by the losers. Of course the TV and afternoon tea all need to be cleaned away.

Horse racing is called the sport of kings. Probably because only those with the wealth of kings can afford to own and train winning race horses. Let’s face it kings are more likely to watch than actually participate in the sport, like the vast majority of the population.

This might go a long way to explain why we dress up in all of our finery to attend horse races – the one day we can pretend to be royalty. Looking at the state of many punters at the end of the day we are all emulating Prince Harry and Princess Margaret more than their higher ranking siblings.

The House of Winsor have of course taken their affinity with horses when Charles, Prince of Wales married Camilla. She must cause so much confusion for the royal stable hands. Saddling up the consort is more than a mere faux pas.

Much credit is given to the riders. Why? They are just little people hanging on for dear life as ¾ of a tonne of equine muscle run around in a circle. This seems so politically incorrect in our enlightened age. We are no longer allowed to throw little people in bars and pubs so why are we allowed to throw them onto a thoroughbred. This might be another throwback to the royal courts.

Their Royal Highnesses ordering their court jesters, imps and dwarfs to entertain them – and what is more amusing than watching them being thrown off the backs of royal stable of mares and stallions. This theory evidenced by the brightly coloured silks still worn by modern day jockeys. Only the hats have changed exchanging the bells for the more practical protective aspects of the helmet.

The HBO series would not be anywhere suspenseful or entertaining if they all participated in the sport of kings instead of the Game of Thrones. Not nearly enough deaths – unless they included steeplechase. Conversely I do not want to see Gai Waterhouse or Bart Cummings having sexual relations, either with each other or anyone else for that matter.

If horse racing is the sport of kings, does that make glue the adhesive of kings, perukes the wigs of kings and Purina the pet food of kings.