Sport of Kings

It is the race that stops the nation. For 3 minutes, albeit that many people will use this as an excuse to stop work for about an hour. Organising the sweep, setting up the office TV, afternoon tea (with champagne) prior to the race and then following the race their will be the gloating by the sweep winner and the complaining by the losers. Of course the TV and afternoon tea all need to be cleaned away.

Horse racing is called the sport of kings. Probably because only those with the wealth of kings can afford to own and train winning race horses. Let’s face it kings are more likely to watch than actually participate in the sport, like the vast majority of the population.

This might go a long way to explain why we dress up in all of our finery to attend horse races – the one day we can pretend to be royalty. Looking at the state of many punters at the end of the day we are all emulating Prince Harry and Princess Margaret more than their higher ranking siblings.

The House of Winsor have of course taken their affinity with horses when Charles, Prince of Wales married Camilla. She must cause so much confusion for the royal stable hands. Saddling up the consort is more than a mere faux pas.

Much credit is given to the riders. Why? They are just little people hanging on for dear life as ¾ of a tonne of equine muscle run around in a circle. This seems so politically incorrect in our enlightened age. We are no longer allowed to throw little people in bars and pubs so why are we allowed to throw them onto a thoroughbred. This might be another throwback to the royal courts.

Their Royal Highnesses ordering their court jesters, imps and dwarfs to entertain them – and what is more amusing than watching them being thrown off the backs of royal stable of mares and stallions. This theory evidenced by the brightly coloured silks still worn by modern day jockeys. Only the hats have changed exchanging the bells for the more practical protective aspects of the helmet.

The HBO series would not be anywhere suspenseful or entertaining if they all participated in the sport of kings instead of the Game of Thrones. Not nearly enough deaths – unless they included steeplechase. Conversely I do not want to see Gai Waterhouse or Bart Cummings having sexual relations, either with each other or anyone else for that matter.

If horse racing is the sport of kings, does that make glue the adhesive of kings, perukes the wigs of kings and Purina the pet food of kings.