Don't Be A Boob

Breasts, boobs, under shoulder boulders, fun bags, pillows, jugs, air bags, headlights. These euphemisms, many of which show a concerning misunderstanding of their functions, can be considered at best humourous at worst and insulting at worst.

Biologically they are for feeding newly born children, a function that helps classify the entire species as mammals. During breastfeeding a mother passes on essential nutrients to their child as well as hormones and the basic building blocks for developing early immune systems. Once a woman’s child rearing days are past the breasts are, crudely put, there for decoration.

Many people would argue that breasts are primarily there for decoration and that feeding is merely an unfortunate distraction, which may in fact lower their decorative “value” saying nothing of lowering their position in reference to their proximity to the navel.

Breasts are comprised of mainly fatty and fibrous tissues. The young the breast the ratio favours the fibrous elements, as the breasts age (along with the rest of its owners body) the ration changes towards the fatty tissue.

More fatty and less fibrous tissues can only mean one thing – gravity wins and the distance between the nipple and waistline decreases. A fact that can be to the larger breasted woman’s advantage as it may halve their underwear requirements  - when the breasts can be tucked into their underpants. Their partners may also appreciate this because bras are really expensive and as people age and try to survive on pensions or superannuation this can be a huge saving.

Don’t get me wrong breasts have other great benefits for all that get to encounter them – amorous, consensual, passionate contact can be fun for the giver and receiver alike.

Breasts are not always fun or functional. Breasts have an unfortunate habit of getting sick. Lumps, bumps, discharges, shape changes. 90% of these are inconvenient, they might be uncomfortable and embarrassing and scary for a short period of time. They might be easily treated or medical personnel might even choses to ignore them and implore their owner to do the same. That leaves 10%, which are serious. Medical conditions that scare men and women alike.

This is saying nothing of the backache for larger women and the years of torment at school during the puberty years. Whether they grow first or last in the girls class, the biggest, smallest or they are growing unevenly girls will get teased by the boys and girls in their class.

Experts suggest regular checking of the breasts, by looking and feeling them to see if there have been any changes. This can be difficult for some women, or even embarrassing. I say let your partner do it and have some fun together. After all it is on doctors orders!

Doctors suggest that women need to know what is normal for their breasts (and each breast will probably be different in one way or another) throughout their menstrual cycle.  That means being felt up on a regular basis.

Occasionally the illnesses are so bad that women need to have part or all of their breasts removed to say their lives. This can affect their sense of womanhood.

Firstly their curves, whether big or small, are changed forever and there is no denying it the world judges women by their shape. This can be relatively easily concealed when dressed but requires radical cosmetic surgery to disguise when naked.  This is a fact that is confronting to the woman herself and partner alike.

Men, who can also be judged on size have not concerns when dressed  - unless wearing a speedo – but there is no hiding endowment when naked. Men’s bits are designed to remain functional for their entire life and the loss of function can affect a man’s sense of manhood, but this is a topic for another blog.

Whether the woman is a police officer, politician, teacher, surgeon, construction worker, engineer, mother, daughter, sister, wife they have a lot more important assets that those hidden under a blouse.

What a pity that all of those women who undergo breast augmentation surgery to increase their cup size to ridiculous sizes do not realize this.