Classy Business - Emirates Business Class

Spain offers duty free in most stores. You simply pay the full price and then reclaim the tax at the airport. Simples! Madrid airport is designed to minimise the number of people who successfully claim the refund.

There are only two steps. Get the receipt stamped by a customs tax official and then present the stamped receipt to the refund desk. The customs tax official is no where near the customs check point where passports are stamped.

To get there you simple take the elevator down one level, catch the train one stop  the take the escalator up two levels. Go through to doors turn right, then left , down the corridor turn right at the end and then run as fast as you can at the wall for platform  9³/_4.

Armed with a stamped receipt it is then off to the refund counter. Back down the corridor, take the escalator down one level, go through  the duty free shopping area, turn right, turn left go to the end f that corridor and then it is the little door on the left. Knock three times…

This sandwich is the business

There is a big different between the business class lounge in Madrid and the first class lounge in Melbourne and Dubai. I am not sure whether this is to do with the class or the location. First let me say the wine selection is excellent range of local Spanish wines. The food is, well, pretty average cafeteria food. On the upside, the chicken sandwiches are extremely fresh and do have the crusts cut off. They also have a lot of margarine. They are just like the sandwiches the CWA ladies might serve at the local church fete – just. The only hot food is the same chicken sandwiches that you put through an automatic toaster. Good luck if you are wanting to go gluten free.

Emirates business class seats, A330

To compare business class to first class is only fair when comparing the same carrier and same aircraft. My comparison is for Emirates Airlines on the Airbus A330. 

Comparing business to first class there are many things that are the same

• express line for security
• express line for boarding
• door for boarding
• leg room
• menu, food and wine
• contents of toiletry bag
• mini bar
• television screen and channels
• chauffer transfers to and from the airport
• electronic window shades
• fine bone china, metal cutlery, glassware and linen tablecloths

  

  Emirates stand up bar, A330

• access to the stand up bar

And now for something (not so) completely different

• the chair is slightly narrower and only leather trimmed instead of all leather
• whilst still in a personal pod there is no door
• no personal supply of chocolates and other nibbles
• the toiletry bag is canvas instead of leather
• instead of pyjamas there is a pair of socks.

The socks appear to be a randomly arbitrary item of clothing, why not gloves or a jaunty hat?

I

Grilled beef with vegetables

need to describe the business class bed. The first class bed was flat, wide and when extended filled the pod. In business class the seats are arranged in a alternating fishbone style arrangements. The legroom is under the mini bar and general serving are of the seat in front. This means that when the seat is extended to its bed configuration it actually slide forward so that it is slightly under the pod in front, like the seat in the Bat mobile in the Dark Knight Trilogy. First class beds are fantastic, business class beds are cool.

In Dubai airport there is separate lounges for Emirates first and business class passengers, they are even on separate floors, by which I mean they take up an entire floor each. It is to be noted that business class is on a higher floor. The menu appears to be the same, though it is with great pleasure I can report the presence of bacon on the breakfast buffet in business class – albeit turkey bacon. I earlier reported no bacon in the first class lounge – turkey or otherwise. The main difference appears to be the absence of fountains.

Most importantly when comparing first class to business class, they still called me sir!

Breakfast in bed - chocolate pancakes

Unlucky 7

God reportedly created the earth in seven days. If taken literally, this is quite a feat. But just like renovation make over shows that rebuild a property in only a matter of weeks if not days you have to question the quality. There has to be a few things that God sits back during time of self reflection and thinks “ok, so I could have done better there.

Volcanoes. If nothing else it proves  that the soil – like an old hot water system – of heats a bit and as a result leaks occasionally.

Platypus. Don’t tell me this wasn’t one of his first creations as he tried out a few component parts. Duck bill, beaver body, mammal but lays eggs, poisonous spine that would eventually find its way onto scorpions and some fish.

People. Enough said?

Sure he looked at what he created at the end of each day and saw that it was good. Imagine what earth would be like if he took his time and saw that things were great.

We have a seven day week, in theory to represent the seven days of creation. Who hasn’t said if only there were more days in a week? When it comes to employment or household jobs there is always the desire for more time. Whether it is to complete more tasks or be less rushed with the tasks to improve the quality. No-one likes to create a platypus. Alternatively just to have another day to rest. God appears to have rushed both his work and his rest (on the seventh day he rested).

There are seven colours in the rainbow, and hasn’t that proved to be lucky for the LGBT community. That might explain why they really only use six colours. To be honest indigo always sounded a bit gay anyway. There is never a Leprechaun at the end of it and definitely no pot of gold.

Game of Thrones the people of Westeros worship the seven gods (The Mother, The Father, The Warrior, The Crone, The Smith, The Maiden and The Stranger) and there are seven kingdoms (The North, Iron Lands, The Vale, The Westerlands, The Reach, the Stormlands and the Dorne). Although this is all proving to be more than lucky for the author George R.R. Martin and for the senior management of HBO. There is not much luck for the people who live in the area. Sure the sex appears to be pretty free and easy but so is death. What does appear to be an indication of luck if penning epic fantasy narratives is to have initials in your name. Lord of the Rings – J.R.R Tolkien, Harry Potter – J.K. Rowling.

Like GoT, Japanese mythology also has seven gods. Seven Lucky Gods at that

Hotei, the fat and happy god of good health. Fat may be jolly but it is not healthy.

Jurojin the god of long life, clearly a god who did not live near Fukushima…or maybe he did!

Fukurokuju the god of happiness wealth and long life. Lucky to be a god, but not lucky enough to have his own portfolio. Like a Parliamentary Secretary, the title sounds impressive but turns out to be nothing more than number one dog’s body to the Minister. If the Japanese Gods were a theatre group, Fukurokuju would be the understudy.

Bishamonten god of warriors. War is not lucky for anyone. Ever.

Benzaiten the goddess of knowledge, art and beauty. What a patronising title. She may as well be goddess of cooking, light cleaning and babies. Secondly being the only female in the group who know at some point all of the gods are going to at least try it on. “Want to really get lucky? I’m a god!”

Daikokuten the god of wealth, commerce and trade. Another of Fukurokuju’s bosses. To be honest Daikoku (as he is known to his friends) has proven to be a lucky god for Japan, at least in the 70s to 90s. Japan was king in the manufacturing world of electronics and textiles, until Bali and Thailand discovered the art of counterfeit. All luck runs out sometime and for Dikoku and the Japanese people it was the day Tony Abbott declared he wants Japan to be his Asian BFF.

Ebisu god of fishers and merchants. Ebisu works closely with Daikoku to sell Japanese made product around the world. The 2011 tsunami and resulting nuclear disaster has put paid to any luck that the Japanese fishing industry.

If seven is so lucky why are there seven deadly sins. There were also seven Beethoven movies including five that went straight to video and seven editions in the Smokey and the Bandit franchise including four that were made just for television, not even video.