Australia's "Favourite" Uncles

As Australia edges closer to a federal election I cant help feel that the voting public have a choice between our embarrassing uncles, one daggy one dodgy.

Mr Rudd is definitely more likeable, but that does not mean he is the right person to provide statesmanship, big vision leadership. Uncle Arthur was hugely popular but no-one wants him to be PM. Funny in a cringey way make for great television but not politics.

In being reinstated Mr Rudd said he was looking forward to “rocking with the  kids” No one is “rocking with the kids”. And anyone who can actually rock with young people NEVER uses the phrase.

Can I suggest to Kevin and his speechwriters that the word “rad” is no longer in use.

This follows on from him famously wanting to “shake the sauce bottle”. Alf Stewart is obviously moonlighting from working at the Summer Bay Surf Club to write political speeches.

What makes an uncle daggy, is it obvious that he is trying very hard to look as though he is not trying hard, to be cool. Like tweeting a selfie of an injury…cutting himself shaving.

The alternative is Mr Abbott. I am sure he is fine but he just gives off a creepy dodgy vibe. A Danny Denuto famously said in The Castle “it’s the vibe of the thing, Your Honour.” It is the pained smile, disjointed laboured way of speaking, and the staccato laugh. When he combines the speaking and laugh, it is even worse. Worse still is when he is laughing at what he thinks is his own joke.

Then there is the speedo, yes he is very fit and that is to be commended. In fact it creates for a great role model in a normally flabby parliament. I just do not think the Australian public needs political speeches from a man wearing a triangle of red Lycra and a surf lifesaver cap. Paul Hogan’s mate Strop was never intended to be a political inspiration.

When it comes down to it, the lack of inspiration instilled in the public by wither leader is the real issue. Uncles whether they be daggy or dodgy are ok to hang out with (even if under direct protective supervision of another adult) but ultimately they are not what we are after in the long term.

The Australian public deserves more than a good story to tell during show and tell on Monday morning following an entertaining weekend. I want to hear policies I want to hear of a long term vision with clearly identified opportunities. Plans from one election to the next is not long term.

Uncle Arthur v Stop. Can I vote for Richie Benaud? At least the cricket is interesting!