The
Olympics are upon us all again and the world’s elite athletes compete for
trinkets, fame and fortune. “Faster Higher Stronger” is the motto of the game.
For the Latin linguists it is “Citius, Altius,
Fortius”. Can this motto be applied to all of the sports.
I have a problem with any sport in which there is an artistic
judging element; synchronized swimming, rhythmic gymnastics and diving for
example. It is beyond question that they take great skill and strength. However
they also get judged on form. How pointy were the toes, Interpretation of
music, smiles.
The Olympic motto is not “Faster Higher Stronger Prettier.
Remove all of the subjective judging.
Diving, get Jamie and Adam from Mythbusters to set up a rig
with measuring intervals and a time lapse camera to measure exactly who had the
smallest splash.
Synchronised swimming for example there could be basic elements
that can be objectively measured; which country hold their breath for the
longest, which country lifts one of their team the highest out of the water.
Rhythmic gymnastics twirl a ribbon, throw a ball all very good.
Hard to measure. Set up structures like show jumping in equestrian. Throw the
ball up roll under the hurdle before catching it. Loose a point for every bar
you knock down from the hurdle. Have combinations, over one hurdle, under
another, have a water jump. Each of them could be designed to look like major
tourist attractions from the host country. For the ribbon, the highest twirl,
use a decibel meter to measure the loudest crack when it is moved like a stock
whip.
If it is a requirement of the sport to wear make up, it is sport
or art. Either is fine but the Olympics are about sport not art (except for the
opening and closing ceremonies).
If we are serious about combining sport and art then medals should
be awarded for countries that use the most condoms. The standard order of
condoms for the Olympic Athletes Villages is 100,00. Definitely works up a
sweat and some positions are definitely creative. There would be no shortage of
competitors or judges! Not sure anyone wants to have the record for the
“Faster” part of the motto.
Admittedly some athletes, particularly those competing in track
events, seem confused about the artistic elements of their chosen sport. A
sprint is about being the fastest yet heavy gold jewelry large earrings, gold
shoes and exotic hairstyles – al things that have the potential to slow you
down, adorn may competitors before, during and after competition.
This is a side effect of sport – money. Being flashy gets you
noticed, identifies a “personality” and makes you potentially more desirable
for sponsorship. Being the best is not important, being marketable is. Just
look at Anna Kournikova, never won a tennis tournament and yet was the most
marketable player on the circuit in her day. Because she was prettier.
Luck also has a lot to do with, winter Olympics’ Steve Bradbury is
an obvious example. Too obvious. Australian swimmers have a proud and
successful record in Olympic Games, but not all of our aquatic medalists have
enjoyed the riches of milk, museli bars or cereal endorsements or hosting a
notional television weight loss programs.
In the marketing world having a point of difference is important ,
hence the jewellery, tattoos and hair dos of the track athletes. South Africa’s
Oscar Pistorius is a shoe in (pun intended). Known as the Blade Runner he has
artificial lower legs and has qualifies for both the Olympic and Paralympic
London Games. It is not often that a person born without fibula resulting in
the amputation of htheir lower can be seen as lucky. In the world of
sponsorship and marketing, his missing limbs, and athletic ability are gold.
Olympics,
Faster Higher Stronger,
Prettier Luckier Richer.
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