Friday, November 13, 2009
Redundancy Diaries – Let’s start at the very beginning
It is a very good place to start. When you read you begin with ABC, when you sing you begin with do re mi. When your fired you begin with re-dun-dan-cy
My notification was surprisingly dull. My regular supervision meeting with my Director was hijacked. I knew it was bad news when arriving at the meeting I found not only my Director both HR Manager waiting for me. No meeting when the HR manager is unexpectedly in attendance is ever good. In case there was any possibility of confusion the feeling of dread was confirmed by my Director.
His first words, before I had even sat down, were, “Darren, I am afraid I have bad news.”
What did he have to be afraid of? I was the one being fired! His office is all glass visible of me killing him with a weapon constructed of my felt-tip pen, diary and spiral bound note book using a technique I learned from MacGyver.
What disappointed me most was the lack of occasion. Something, anything I would have liked a little bit of effort to make the moment more memorable. Balloons with the message we are going to burst your dreams. Donuts and pastries – this is the last dough you will be getting from us, or simply (and this would be my preferred option) a hooker standing there in her underwear “You’re screwed!”
But alas there was none of that. Just a very to-the-point discussion, this is what is happening, when it is happening and how much money will be involved. Regretfully they tell us (cuckoo, cuckoo) but firmly they compel us (cuckoo, cuckoo) to say goodbye (cuckoo) to you…