I have recently had the opportunity to fly first class from Australia to Spain. This journey is approximately 26 hours in the air so why not first class. I entered my chauffer driven town car at
2.30pm, precisely the time it was booked to take me to Melbourne Airport for my
first class Emirates flights through to Barcelona. It would also mark the time
that I was no longer Darren Freak but rather “Sir”.
The only exception to this was a flight
attendant who decided that my last name was the perfect opener to a
conversation where the primary objective was to hit on me. Finally my last name
has a benefit!
First class with Emirates means no queues
at check in, border control or boarding. The Priority Pass gets you not only to
the front of the line but all the way through without breaking stride.
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| Melbourne first class lounge |
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| Melbourne first class buffet |
The first class lounge was empty which lead
to me getting A LOT of personalised service. Coupled with complimentary top
shelf wines and spirits and quality food this was the most enjoyable 2hours I
have ever spent waiting for a flight.
I selected steak, chicken, couscous,
sautéed vegetables, cheese, and chocolates… and did I mention the alcohol?
Upon boarding Sir was ushered to his pod at
which point all of the first class cabin crew introduced themselves and
presented me with an essential item for the flight; Dom Perignon champagne,
leather toiletries bag (deodorant, shaver with cream, toothpaste and brush,
cologne and male perfumes), pyjamas, a basket of nibbles, slippers, newspapers,
magazines, hot scented towel and more champagne.
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| Dom Perignon |
Just before take off there is the offer of
a shot or Arabic coffee and stuffed dates, apparently it is important to
Emirates that regular bowel movements are maintained during the long haul
flight. I now understand why it tales so
long for a plane to take off after boarding. It has nothing to do with readying
the aircraft and cross-checks it is about pampering first class passengers.
Only four of the fourteen first class pods
were occupied so again the service was very
attentive if not just to keep all of the staff occupied. And then of course
there was special attention from the attendant who thought my surname was
interesting.
Then there were the instructions, how to
operate the seat, the leather seat. Yes the seat has enough functions that a
tutorial is required. The multi-setting massage function was a welcome
surprise. The 200 channel flat screen television, the personal mini bar, the
writing material – with on board Wifi, in 2016 I am not sure who is penning a
handwritten letter, though the pen itself makes a nice souvenir. Then there is
the menu.
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| Emirates first class pods |
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| personal mini-bar |
Everything in the pod, including the privacy doors, electronic
window shades and three different lights can be controlled from the
tablet-style control panel. It can take a good 30 minutes for Sir to
familiarise himself with the capabilities of his pod.
As soon as the seatbelt sign is switched
off attendants arrive with the twelve page menu including more alcohol,
appetisers, entrees, mains, desserts and - for those who are still hungry -
light snacks.
Sir skipped the appetisers. For entrée I had the Arabic mezze
consisting of 4 different dips, artichokes, stuffed vine leaves, lamb kibbeh,
cheese sambousek, spinach fatayer, cherry tomatoes, pastries and five different
types of bread. For an appetiser it is filling. The quantity resembles the
spread that would be put out to welcome guests to a small dinner party, or an
average individual American.
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| Arabic mezze |
It is to be noted that the tray table is
not in any way a tray. It is a table. Big enough to warrant a linen table cloth
when the endless parade of food is served.
Grilled chicken with roast potatoes, steamed carrots and beans for
main accompanied by a glass of 2000 Chateau Montrose. This was a more modest portion size. All
delicious. Then topped this off with a chocolate and caramel dome. A
mousse/cake mound with a caramel sauce centre served with a raspberry coulis
and an accompanying glass of 2005 Chateau d’Yquem dessert wine. This could be
one of the best desserts I have ever had.
Of course the 21 year old Chivas Regal
Royal Salute Whisky (limited edition to celebrate the Coronation of Queen
Elizabeth 11) kept coming, each time with a serve of warm salted nuts. What man
does not like his nuts warm and salty?
It goes without saying that all of the
beverages are served in quality glassware with alcohol served from real bottles
– no little plastic replicas in first class. The food all served on fine bone china
with metal cutlery.
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| First class shower |
For first class, there is an on-board shower. And, yes, Sir would
like to avail himself of this service before changing into his pyjamas. It is a
point of frustration when a on board shower is larger than Sir’s own shower at
home. On returning to my pod my bed had been made up for me complete with a mattress
and a duvet for a few hours sleep, drift off to the realisation that the cabin
ceiling is covered in tiny twinkling lights replicating the night sky.
A brief one hour stop in Singapore first
class lounge which is just enough time for a hot chocolate some cheese and a
brownie. It is to be noted that the Singapore and Melbourne lounges are almost
identical, just like any “new” estate developed by a land lease company.
Boarding the plane for the Singapore -
Dubai leg of my journey it all starts again. I now have two toilet bags, two
sets of pyjamas, two baskets of nibbles and two Emirates biros. If only I ever
hand wrote things.
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| Chocolate mousse mound with caramel centre |
Having already eaten a full dinner bigger
than the weekly rations the Australian government provides refugees in its
off-shore processing centres I selected a light snack on the second flight – a
chicken pie. Sir had to wait 15-20 minutes for this order as the food is cooked
to order – with sincerest apologies. As everyone knows there is a separate
stomach specifically for desserts, so Sir chose the selection of pastries
consisting of a pistachio japonaise, two fruit tartlets and a slice of cheese
cake, with a glass of Taylors 40year old tawny port from Douro Portugal.
Dubai first class lounge is different from its cousins in Melbourne
and Singapore. First of all it is lager than some airports with couches some
bigger than a single bed. There is a separate dining room and a massage/spa
centre. The general are also has two fountains
AND a still water feature. Full buffet continental or hot breakfast (or
both) – amazing croissant! There is alcohol available in a very strict non
alcohol consuming country which begs the question why was there no bacon?
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| onboard entrance to first class |
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| Dubai first class lounge |
Upon boarding for the final leg of this journey to Barcelona Sir had
to briefly mingle with commoners at the gate before being called to board
first. This time we all entered through
the main cabin door and then ascended the stairs. Sir had the very first suite
which gave great pleasure watching the faces of business class passengers faces
change from one of quiet smugness as the also climbed the stairs to the dimming
in the eyes as they walk through what the first class cabin and realise that
they are getting better but not the best.
Being in the first seat, although exciting
in its own right does mean that the suite is approximately 20cm narrower to the
suites from the third row back. They are all just over 2m long.
More Dom Perignon and more Chivas Regal.
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| Braised beef cheek |
For lunch Sir selected the chicken and sun
dried tomato tapende with a mushroom
salad with peppers and fennel entrée followed by braised veal cheek with mashed
potato carrots, beans and horseradish,
with a side of 4 different breads including fresh toasted garlic bread. This
was by far my favourite main and well worth the 25 minute wait for it to be
prepared. The accompanying wine was Sarget de Gruaud Larose 2003 from Bordeaux
France – a very light and smooth wine with a hint of red wine on the palate and
after tones of yummmmmmm.
For desert Sir had the chocolate and
apricot pudding and another glass of 2005 Chateau d’Yquem dessert wine.
A sneaky 2 hour sleep and another shower.
On arrival at Barcelona my Emirates driver
was waiting with his Mercedes resplendent in leather and timber interior
finish. No longer Sir but now “Mr Darren.” Combined, I have my new moniker – Mr
Darren, Sir.
From apartment to hotel it was 32hours;
three flights, three lounges, at least six meals, bottomless alcohol, two
showers, two town cars and more warm nuts than any man needs Mr Darren, Sir has
arrived…having left my hotel once Mr Darren, Sir has already been lost for over
an hour.
