Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Hair Removal

As the world goes crazy over the Back to the Future movies, this rant has been inspired by another of Michael J Fox’s movies, Teen Wolf.

Teen Wolf, 1985

 Debate rages on; hairy versus smooth. With man-scaping now a thing men and women are now removing any trace of body hair in almost equal numbers. It is usually discussed in relation to sexuality.

I would like to discuss other reasons.

Body hair equals bellybutton lint. Remove the body hair and the little pile of blue fluff goes with it. And yes, it is always blue! I will admit there is something unusually satisfying about removing the little ball from the naval it is even more satisfying not having it at all.

Body hair acts like bunting and crown control ropes slowly moving and funnelling the smallest pieces of dirt and fluff from clothing ever towards the hole.

The question is for people who do remove their body hair go where does the individual elements that make up belly button fluff go?

Removal of body hair also eliminates the presence of hair of the cake of soap and shower screen, and public toilets. It is easy to distinguish scalp hair from body hair and for some reason the presence of the later once separated from its host body is so much more gross than its head-based relatives.

Talking of gross a really hairy backside adds additional complications to the morning after a night of drinking or curries or both. Definitely enough said.

For some men the removal of pubic hair may assist with the problem of not being able to see the wood for the trees but that is probably getting in to the area of sexuality.

Talking of men I have not decided which is the more unusual to see. The excessively hairy man who has a line of hair sprouting out of the top if collar – all the way around, or the excessively hairy man who has done some grooming and shaved his neck in a way that leaves what appears to be a tideline.

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