Usain Bolt, sure he won the trinkets but the highlight was being photographs with three members of the Swedish women’s handball team draped over his lap...inside their room in the Athletes Village. Titillating but what is the joy for the women, they already know he is the fastest man alive and just loves to come first. Insert your own handball joke here.
Michael Phelps admitting two things, firstly that he urinates in the pool. Alright for him he normally wins the race, bad luck about the other swimmers that then have to swim through his discharge. Insert your own golden shower joke here. At the age of 27 he also announced his retirement, and then within 24 of retiring told international media that he was bored. What about sleeping in, eating normal food, reading a book, get a job. Hang out with Bolt, he does not seem to have any problem filling in the time.
Stephanie Rice’s mum loves Stephanie Rice. The only thing more embarrassing than a swimmer going the blub because she lost is having her mother going the blub whilst telling the world that she is proud of her and loves her and that the world should do the same. A little message to mum. Shhhhh.
Tanking – unbeknownst to everyone was a demonstration sport in London 2012. Questions have been asked over the Japanese women’s football team, the Spanish men’s basketball, and beach volleyball. However the South Korea will be hard to beat in Badminton if Tanking becomes an official sport in Rio 2016. Silver to China and Bronze to Indonesia.
Falling, another sport that should be added to the Olympic calendar, whether it be from on top of a horse, stumbling over a hurdle, missing a corner in a cycling road race, missing a catch on a piece of gymnastics apparatus or just dropping to the ground for no apparent reason. Always spectacular, making for great television and often performed with a high degree of difficulty.
Amateurs. The Olympics used to ban professional athletes from its glorious competition, now the only amateur athletes seen at the Games are at street based events where members of the public can run or cycle alongside the competitors in an unrealistic attempt to keep pace or better the speed of the race. The highlight was a man – in suit and tie – who attempted to keep up with the final stages of the women’s marathon. Sadly for him women who had run over 40 km and could barely stand let alone run still moved markedly faster than him.
New Zealand forgot to register Valerie Adams, defending Olympic champion, into the shot put event. Well done New Zealand Olympic Committee! Shot putters are traditionally large and angry people – not a group you want to upset. The IOC helped out and got her instated into the event. She won silver.
Kim Collins five times Olympian and flag-bearer for St Kitts and Nevis (yes that is a real nation), was withdrawn from competition for spending the night before the race with his wife and coach (one in the same person – I know, boring right?) He should have stayed in the athlete’s village and caught up with the remainder of the Swedish volleyball team. Then everyone would have been happy...well nearly everyone.
Oscar Pistorius made the semi finals on the Men’s 400m running event, despite not having legs below the knee. If it is true that he has an unfair advantage due to the carbon fibre “blades” he has in place of lower legs, ankles and feet then I hope that Grenada’s Kirani James, eventual winner of the event who ran 2-3 seconds faster that Pistorius is being tested and questioned, about the unfair advantages from which he benefitted during the racing. The American 4x400m men’s relay team won their heat in the fastest heat time in Olympic history even though Manteo Mitchell broke his leg half way through his lap. He completed his lap in good time. Does he now qualify for the Paralymics, and did he have an advantage over the other athletes in this race?
Dressage, is there no better example over human’s dominance over the planet than making a horse tip toe around and across a square of saw dust, and then judging which equine was the tiptoeiest. AND we make the horses where little caps like a cheap batman costume whilst they do it.
Organisers playing the South Korean anthem for the North Korean women’s football team. Kim Jong Un and his people are not known for their sense of humour. They also have nuclear weapon capabilities and are not afraid to talk about using it, especially to threaten South Korea. We do not want to re-make M*A*S*H combining war and sports. Though it would make a number of events much more interesting, javelin, archery, shooting, the list goes on. Just as long as Alan Alda does not write the script – those episodes were way to moralistic. It would give a whole new meaning to tanking in sport.
Andy Murray won Gold. No longer Scottish, British. Though it does ruin his record of almost but not quiet winning anything. Sure the tournament was played at Wimbledon, but does the tennis fraternity see the Olympics as a real tournament for their sport? It is no grand slam. Either way I am sure a knighthood is on its way. Much better than the cow Federer receives from the Swiss government when he wins a major tournament.
