I HEART AUSTRALIA

…because Australians are patriotic – when a national sporting team or individual wins an international championship. Even if the population has never heard of the team/individual ad no nothing about the sport. If Australia wins then all Australians are instant experts in the rules, nuances and history of the sport. It does not even matter if the government has fast tracked the nationalisation of a person whose name the people can not pronounce from a country the population does not know its location. With a winning sporting achievement Australians will proudly fly he Australian flag, be seen in public wearing green and gold and at least for a for a few days be able to sing more than 50% of the lyrics for the Australian national anthem. The week following the sporting success Australians will then debate suitability of the national anthem because it contains the word “girt”. It must be said that the verses of the Australian national anthem describe the nature of the land and people whereas the American anthem talks about the appealing nature of their flag. So remind me whose anthem needs to be reconsidered.

….because the population, without any mass media campaigns in attempt to influence our collective vote, chose a winner for Australian Idol 2 (2004) that no-one really liked, Casey Donavon. Idol for other winners and many runners up has guaranteed number 1 on the singles chart. Even Donavon’s family felt embarrassed buying the single. Sales may not have been helped by confusion with her website. Casey Donovon was a male gay pornographic actor in the 1970s and ‘80s.

…because we eat our national symbols, the animals chosen for our country’s coat of arms. The kangaroo and emu are unique in that they can only move forwards hance their selection to represent the ideal of progressiveness for a young nation. If, however they do not move forward quickly enough when we are barrelling down the highway at 110kph and thus become road kill there is no hesitation in firing up the bbq. We also feed kangaroo to our pets. Kangaroo is considered appropriate feline food. Adding insult to the mortal injuries cats already unleash on Australia’s defenceless fauna.

…because Australian society is so stable (education, economy, health and employment) that politics is almost inconsequential to most people. On the whole we are apathetic. Whoever is in power we do not like and will ridicule, yet show no higher interest or preference for the opposition. Yet change the captain of the national cricket team and it will be passionately debated on talkback radio, in letters to the editor and around bars for weeks. Everone knows the history of the chosen captain and can articulate a detailed comparison with the other contenders for the position

…because Australian's fight to protect disease free fauna and flora. Wether it be bee hives, keeping fruit fly from the orchards or arguing against international rulings to protect Australian apples from fire blight, farmers and scientists will not rest to protect Australian flora and fauna. The government spends millions of dollars to allow biologists to find a cure (and prevention) for the facial tumours that are fatally afflicting the Tasmanian Devils. When Darwinists would suggest it mere natural selection in action, Australia has decided it is just as important to solve as tumours and other medical ailments that take thousands of human lives every year.

… because the High Court can rule that legislation passed by Parliament is in fact unconstitutional and the worst of the consequences for the judges was a bit of a whinge from the Prime Minister. Her rhetoric was then inturn ridiculed by the judges and media like. In other parts of the world the High Court – if given the opportunity to rule on the legalities – may not have had the nerve to disagree with the ruling party, or faced execution if they did. Teenagers may have rioted for a week looting HD televisions and high fashion clothing.

…because Australia had an obesity problem. Australia is grossly overweight at the same time that people in some countries spend their entire day trying to scrounge together enough food for the day and even then it is only corn or corn based products. In one country they beg for corn, in Australia, the population can choose whether they want their corn to be served dripping in butter, pre-prepared in five artificial flavours, deep fried, or served in bucket sized portions with a side of chocolate dipping sauce .

…because when a police officer draws and fires his/her gun at an alleged perpetrator who was allegedly threatening to harm the police officers using the allegedly stolen vehicle, the alleged theft of which was the cause for police to approach the individual; it is front page news. Shootings in general and the more specific subset of “police shootings” are so rare that it is a major talking point. It is an event that generates an internal police investigation it is so uncommon. The rarity of this type of event may also explain why when the officer discharged his weapon he was so inaccurate that he missed the vehicle let alone the person inside; allegedly.

…because when debating refugees and “boat people” Australia is discussing people desperately wanting to enter the country not leave it.