Monday, December 20, 2010

You Can't Handle The Truth

Assange is out of prison, at least for the time being, and that can only be a good thing for the generation of entertaining media. Wikileaks at the least has been entertaining both in its content and the reaction it has stirred amongst world leaders and journalists.

As a far as ground breaking journalism, the jury is, much like in Assange’s sexual assault charges, still out. Is Australia really shocked to discover the Julia Gillard had her eye on the top job well before that fateful night in late June this year. We are even less shocked by the news that Afghanistan “scared the hell” out of Rudd during his Prime Ministership.

I would be more shocked to discover that he was not scared. Rudd does not strike me as the type of person who would have got into many school-yard fights let-alone organise them. Of course he felt in over his head. I suspect there may have even been an occasion or too where the events in Afghanistan caused him to wee a little in his pants. I like the idea that our national leader is scared of military action, and think the world would be a better place if more world leaders were the same. In fact do we not refer to leaders who are not scared of war “dictators”? The very leaders the democratic west is willing to go to war against in order to dispose.

Now that Assange is out on bail, will he continue to break the hard-hitting stories. The world needs to know.

Was Hugh Jackman hitting his head on a lighting rig during the taping of Oprah’s Sydney show an accident with the breaks of the flying-fox either not being activated or being faulty or was it in fact an assassination attempt, orchestrated by the Queen of Television herself? Was Oprah fearful that Hugh Jackman was indeed a bigger star than herself in Australia and felt the uncontrollable urge to eliminate her opposition.

When Joe the Cameraman aka Shane Warne uttered the now infamous 1999 cricket sledge Can’t bowl, can’t throw” the world thought it was directed at then Australian team mate Scott Muller. Assange may now be ready to release to the world that it was actually the draft of what was to become Cricket Australia’s mission statement “Can’t bat, can’t bowl, can’t field”. Credit must therefore be given to the current Australian selectors for choosing a team that will indeed fulfil their mission. Unfortunately it is just not cricket. Even Pakistani book makers are struggling to understand what is happening.

Wikileaks is known for the staging the release of it correspondence. The big question is when will they release the documents declaring that the laughs on Two and a Half Men” are a real as Bert Newton’s hair?

Children aged around 10 years are all clinging to the edge of their beds to hear whether or not Father Christmas is real. Do not even get Wikileaks started on shopping centre Santas! How can there be so many or is Santa more like God than we realise and his omnipresence does enable him to be in every shopping precinct in every city around the world, even in those countries that do not recognise the benevolence of jolly old man in red.

Assange if he and his organisation were the crusaders of truth that the proclaim to be would divert their energies from embarrassing international diplomatic cables. Instead they should be finding and releasing the secret recipes for Coca-Cola and KFC herbs and spices. And Pringles, what the hell is a Pringle. A recent court ruling in England declared that a Pringle was confectionery (yes this is an issue that required legal intervention) as it did not contain enough potato for it to be classes as a crisp/chip.

On second thoughts, when it comes to Pringles, some things are better left a mystery.

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