Vote 2010

Tony Abbott is staying awake campaigning for the 36 hours leading up to election day. All sounds a bit creepy, especially for those people living in marginal electorates. Would having the mad monk tapping on your window at three in the morning really increase the coalitions chances of winning? Forget gay marriage, I want to know what each parties policy is on political stalking. And do we as a nation want a Prime Minister that spends the first days on the job napping on the couch in the Lodge. If we wanted that we would vote for Jeff from the Wiggles.

If Tony is having that much trouble sleeping, perhaps he should try sitting through television coverage of his own election campaigning. It would put even the most ardent insomniac to sleep in minutes. In fairness the campaign from any other party would have the same effect. 2010 could go down as one of the most embarrassing and dull era in Australia’s political history.

After 6 weeks of campaigning I am none the wiser as to what any political party’s policies actually are. I know what they are not. Only because that is what the other parties have concentrated on. Labour has told us what the Liberals will not do if they get into office. Labour has told us what the Greens will not do if they get the balance of power in the Senate. The Liberals have told us what Labour will not do and that Kevin Rudd is upset. The Greens have told us…actually what have the told us? They must be following the old adage “if you can’t say something nice then do not say anything at all.”

But back to K Rudd. Really the man who lost his job, is upset. In fact I believe the removal of Mr Rudd from the office of Prime Minister is an action Labour should be exploiting during this campaign. At a time of need the party proved their decisiveness and willingness to take action, or – if it pleases – move forward. Liberals on the other hand have a long and recent history of not being able to make the tough decision. Howard and Costello bickered like school children for years. With neither of them being able to act decisively the party lost the next election with one of the largest swings in Australia’s history. After the 2007 election the Liberals then again demonstrated their inability to make a decision and stick to it as they changed leaders three times in just over two years.

Is there still a coalition? Are the National Party standing in this election, they might be even more silent than the Greens.

There are over 30 parties vying for the public vote this election. Add a comment to the bottom of this blog if you can name five parties not mentioned in the text.

The Sex Party win the prize for the best name of a political party. Unfortunately for its members, whilst everyone dreams of having a sex party, it is only a reality for a small minority. This may be a good thing. I do not want to live in a country where it is mandatory for men to have a pencil thin moustache and the national anthem is nothing more than a bass riff.

It is a sad sign for our potential Members of Parliament that the most interesting aspects of the election has been the leaders of the two major parties debating about if and how they want to debate each other and the “journalistic” outbursts from former Labour leader, Mark Latham.

When it comes to investigative journalism, Mark makes an excellent Chaser style ambush stunt. Perhaps this explains Abbott’s desire to stay awake for the remainder of the campaign. The only thing worse than Tony appearing at your window would be Latham barging through your bedroom door to ask a question that proves nothing more than the fact his still a little bitter about never becoming Prime Minister himself.

Bring on 21 August, not because I am wanting to vote but because I just want the campaigns to be over. The lack of policy content, the vacuous slogans and catch phrases, the endless parade of Julia Gillard impersonators of varying ability, it is enough already. Even political commentators like Andrew Bolt who make a living out of over analysing political rhetoric and assigning unsubstantiated meaning to the non existent content of speeches must be suffering from election dysfunction from the 2010 campaign.