41 Presents Not To Give Me

Picture source:magicpack.wordpress.com

It is worth noting that these rules do not apply to school age offspring and siblings

1.     Anything where you intentionally chose the ugliest version, and then told this to the recipient

2.     Small kitchen appliances, toasters, kettle.

3.     Kitchen gadgets, just because the overly excited presenters on the infomercial said it will revolutionise meal time – it wont revolutionise my birthday

4.     Exercise equipment

5.     Any home made craft unless you are a recognised artist

6.     A replacement for something that was broken

7.     Cans of house paint

8.     Anything for the office cubicle

9.     School supplies

10. Anything you deem as “useful”

11. Gift vouchers  - unless sending from interstate or overseas – take the effort to chose something specific

12. Hand made vouchers for hugs

13. Cash  - even less impersonal that a voucher

14. Anything from the Body Shop, if I smell - just tell me. The friendship ends immediately if it is a Body Shop gift voucher

15. Chocolates or wine for me to share with you, if you really knew me you would know that these are items I do not share

16. Items to add to my collection – unless it is an actual collectable. Definitely not anything you have made (see rule 5)

17. Items to add to a collection I no longer collect

18. DVD box set of your favourite show

19. Accessories for a bigger item that I do not own and that you did not buy me

20. Underwear, unless you are that special someone…

21. Socks…never

22. Ties…ever

23. A gift for my sibling/child just so they wont feel left out on my special day

24. A gift for my pet just so they wont feel left out on my special day

25. Anything from a joke shop shaped likes genitals or breasts

26. Anything bought at 7-Eleven or a service station

27. A haircut

28. The key to my own house/apartment, this only means you are returning it and means something is ending

29. Books that you know I have already read

30. Something for my house that matches the colours in your house

31. My half of something we bought together

32. Flowers or pant cuttings from my own garden

33. A family portrait or your family

34. Cleaning appliances, utensils or equipment

35. Ingredients – unless you are cooking them into something special for me (not something special for me to share)

36. Anything you are re-gifting

37. A coffee mug with a saying/image you think is funny…it’s not

38. A calendar/desk calendar you think is funny…it’s not

39. An object that requires batteries…without the batteries

40. Batteries without an object that requires them

41. Nothing at all