It has been said that sarcasm is the lowest
form of wit. Incorrect, there is mime and radio station prank calls. Quite
rightly there has been much debate about the moral and legal appropriateness of
the call and its disastrous consequences. Much like the now infamous
“black-face” routine during the Red Faces segment of the short-lived return of Hey Hey It’s Saturday this outrage hides
the fact that not only was the segment offensive to a great many it was
entertaining a slim few.
What part of the royal prank call was
funny?
It will likely mean that the two presenters
radio careers, only into its second day, is over nearly as quickly as Mal
Maninga’s political career. Unfortunately for everyone involved it will be much
more memorable.
This week also saw the beginning of the end
for another Australian stalwart. The Victorian Parliament this week voted to
make solariums illegal from 2014. The sector obviously did not attract high
enough tax revenue as the politicians made their decision based on scientific evidence
and bought to an end an era an increased risk of cancer related death. Due to
the income generated through cigarette sales laws concentrate more of
stigmastisation and making the practise of smoking less attractive and socially
acceptable - the desire for an outright
ban seems much lower.
In outlawing solariums, politicians have
also legislated against another great slight on society – the leather look.
No longer will people be wandering the
streets with skin resembling tanned hides used for handbags or upholstery. A
great bonus. Unfortunately this is likely to see a dramatic increase in the
Umpa Lumpa. The unique glow once reserved for the realm of nuclear fall out is
now desirable and can be bought it a bottle.
Spray tanning. The world does not need more
Snookies. No one wants the orange look of shows like Jersey Shore, The Shire or Geordie
Shore to be considered normal, but now in Australia at least could soon be
considered normal. I used to live in hope that it was just an unfortunate but
passing phase. Like men with blow waves in the 70s, women’s shoulder pads in
the 80s, happy pants in the 90s and muffin tops, in the naughties, I wished the days
when the world would collectively sit back laughing and ask “why did we think
that looked good.
I might just be getting old and boring but
I also think that unless you were raised in a tribal village in the jungles of
South America or the plains of Africa it should be illegal to put disks of
ever-increasing size into ear piercings
Whilst they are considered normal, and
attractive (depending on the artist) I believe the tattoo sleeve will be
something many wearers rue in years to come. Unlike a bad hairstyle a
ridiculous article of clothing tattoos are not easily got rid of. They look
great in peoples youth and 20s whilst they are fit and the skin is taught. But
muscle tone and the skins elasticity lessen over the years. As the skin
stretches and sags, what now looks like a coiled snake could soon look like a
dog turd. The naked woman over time will look less like porn star Barbie,
becoming more anatomically correct ask the ink breasts sag along with the once
powerful biceps of its wearer.
If only 2Day FM had made a call to an
Australian sports star to remind them that despite what their coaches tell them
they are not a tribal warriors. They are white (mainly) middle class adults
that spend their time chasing balls or running around in circles so there is no
need for the war paint (orange or black).
