Take the piss

Piss; urine, wee, pee, water, widdle, leek, call it what you will it is the warm yellowish (hopefully) and surprisingly sterile liquid waste expelled by the body through the urethra. It is also the basis of many sayings in the English* language both derogatory and complimentary.

On the piss; consuming vast quantities of alcohol in the form of beer. Beer being the “piss”. The lower quality beers often live up (down?) to this reputation and actually taste like the very urine after which this saying is based.

Pissed; after a night of being on the piss one is often referred to as being pissed. Legs and often the brain appear to have turned to liquid, and the words spoken while in a pissed state are as useful to a conversation as the waste material excreted through the urethra is to the body.

Pissed off; angry, often not enough to actually take action but definitely enough to yell abuse and tell everyone around exactly how you feel and that if you could be bothered you would absolutely beat up the person to whom your pissed state is aimed.

It is to be noted that after a night on the pissed one is sure to get pissed which will invariably lead to getting pissed off with someone or something just moments before one tells them that you “love yous all”. Finally one will slowly slip into a state of unconsciousness only to wake up either needing a piss only to realise that they woke up too late for that.

Pissy; often used to describe women who whilst not showing open hostility are still making it known that they are not happy usally make short, sarcastic and derogatory comments.

To take the piss; has nothing to do with medical urine samples or a medieval surgical procedure on the bladder nor does it have anything to do with urophagiacs. It is to poke fun at someone, in a demeaning manner to have fun at another’s expense. Like a old fashion celebrity roast but without the celebrity or the underlying kind nature. It also rarely happen with the piss taker or takee wearing a tuxedo or evening gown.

What a pisser; no, not the most common exclamation heard during the Mardi Gras celebrations, simply a reflection on an exceptionally humourous moment of taking the piss.

Piss in one’s pocket; is alarmingly a highly positive action, complimentary, ego stroking, with a hint of “sucking up” or “brown nosing.” While the receiver may at first welcome the compliments, if someone is really pissing in one’s pocket then it can become awkward, embarrassing and annoying. Much like the effects of someone actually pissing in one’s pocket. No-one enjoys having to swim through someone else’s urine to find their loose change or car keys. If you do ever find your pockets full of urine remember to take a moment to reflect of the gymnastic ability required to receive such a feat.

Pissing down; whilst never heard during a television weather broadcast, it refers to rain, heavy rain/

When it is pissing down people are likely to get on the piss which will start in good humour during which time many people will both take the piss of someone else whilst at the same time have their own piss taken. As the drinkers become more pissed it is inevitable that one of the group will piss in the pocket of the most dominant member of the group. That person is likely to get a bit pissy after a while which will lead to them becoming pissed which, if the person with pockets now full of piss is not too pissed will beat the shit out of the person who is in their pocket. When the fighting starts the person being beaten up may just wee themselves – just a little.

*Other languages may also have similar urine based phrases and sayings but I am not a linguologist, sorry.