Review - The Water Diviner

The Water Diviner

Unlike his character who seemed to miraculously find anything simply by “feeling it”, Russell Crowe’s latest cinematic release struggles to find anything. The audiences are left felling very little at all.

Despite being based on true events in the years following ANZAC troops landing and fighting at Gallipoli it is NOT a war story. It is a romance, a love story between Russell Crowe and himself.

As director it appears that his only direction was “this scene needs a close up…of me and my mole.” In the absence of engaging story or great acting there were endless close ups of Crowe looking off into the distance and speaking in deep and sombre tones.

He can also dig really large holes by hand in super human time.

The story is predictable, by the time Crowe’s character as checked in to the Turkish hotel it is clear that there will be two main story arcs, the arcs themselves are disappointingly predictable.

Thank God, or should it be Allah for Yilmaz Erdogan and Cem Yilmaz. Their acting and depth of character provided much needed relief from the Crowe-fest.

The war flash-backs were brutal and gripping. The acting was powerful and full of raw emotion, all of which was sadly missing from the real-time gun battles between the Greeks and the Turks. It was also refreshing to have the Turkish actors speaking Turkish to each other. So many history films, particularly war films have the opposition speaking in English with a hint of accent and occasional mumbled word in their native tongue.

On the plus side the gourmet choc top was really enjoyable and the seat was comfortable.

Extending the Queen

source: onlinepetart.com.au

Australia chooses to celebrate the Queens birthday in June except Western Australia that celebrates it in September, albeit that her actual birthday is April 21^st. The Commonwealths way of “extending the celebrations”.

This is all well and good if you actually want to extend the celebrations. How many celebrations are truly worthy of extension? Olympic Game opening ceremonies are arguably some of the most spectacular and expensive celebrations but who amongst the millions of international television audience would want it to last longer that the current 4 hours duration?

Extending the celebrations just sounds like a convenient excuse for not being organised in time for the actual event.  “I will give you your present next week” translates to “I did not buy your present in time”, “we can have the party on the weekend” really means “we have not got everything organised to celebrate on your day”.

In Australia’s case it is really a selfish decision to have the public holiday later in the year. March and April are already full of public holidays, with ANZAC Day, Easter and Labour Day. We just want to spread the public holidays out. Sorry Ma’am but we are all a bit busy doing nothing to celebrate your birth right now, how about in a couple of months, our diaries are clear in June

By way of gifts a public holiday is an unusual one. It is a great gift for the public but what is it for the Queen? In comparison to the lives of most, every day of the queens life seems to be a day off, dressing up, fine dining touring the country or internationally.

To be sure with an estimated personal wealth of $500million and access to assets of the crown worth in excess of $15billion, Queen Elizabeth II wanting of little.  I find it difficult to buy presents for my father, retired working – lower middle class. How difficult must it be for Princes Charles, Andrew and Edward and Princess Anne to buy gifts for their mother/ Did she ever receive a hand print or pinch bowl made of clay in art class, or have to display a birthday card decorated in dry macaroni?

People can celebrate early, giving gifts ahead of time. They are organised ahead of time – sure. They too will come up with excuses, “you will be too busy celebrating on the day”, “Just a little something to get your birthday started early”. This all means it is more convenient to give the gift now, we would prefer not to have to go out of our way to make contact on your actual birthday.

The risk is that between people celebrating early and others celebrating late that no one celebrates on the actual birthday. This is no celebration.

Delayed celebrations are mainstay for the monarch. She ascended to the throne following the death of her father on 6 February 1952. The realm did not get to celebrate with her until her coronation on 2 June 1953, some 16 months later. This seems like a long probation period for job from which one cannot be fired, and the only prerequisite is birth. She has however had to face a lifetime of questions about redundancy.

ANZAC Cliche

Rain on ANZAC Day is so cliché and yet Melbourne did it again. It is as predictable as an exaggerated pause by any host of any reality television show before announcing an elimination.

Albeit Melbourne did have an extraordinary amount of rain, normally a shower or two will suffice, but not 2012. 15 mm and cold winds to boot. Then again the veterans of too many wars have survived a lot worse than a bit of precipitation while walking down the street. For starters the cheering they heard in the parade was of spectators applauding their bravery and sacrifice not of blood crazed enemy combatants trying to shot their head off.

Channel 7 also could not help themselves when it came to ANZAC Day clichés. AFL. The depth and gravitas of the voice over providing an overly sentimental narrative that attempted to equate the ferocity, importance and history of the game with that of the events of 1915 in Gallipoli.

Note to Channel 7, the key words in the above sentence are “a game”. AFL football is just a game. In fact the ANZAC Day game is just one of 198 games to be played this year – and I am only counting home and away games at the elite level. Yes there are two sides all “battling” for the victory but that is where the similarity ends. When a war can have a half time break where the two sides sit down to eat slices of orange while the kids run around having a modified war, and there are almost 200 wars in a season leading to a finals war series then we can start to make comparisons. Regardless Channel 7 will continue trying to convince us that our lives will be changed by 36 men running after a piece of leather.

Like the Murdoch repeatedly stating that they were unaware of the activities of their journalistic staff, we are just not buying it.

Julia Gillard spoke at services at Gallipoli and South Korea (no this was not another Labour Government stuff up – she really meant to be there to honour soldiers who fought in the Korean War). Is there an official speech all Prime Ministers must recite at dawn services? Gillard used many ANZAC clichés.


"So this is a place hallowed by sacrifice and loss. It is, too, a place shining with honour and honour of the most vivid kind".


"We remember what the Anzacs did in war. And for what they did to shape our nation in peace. This is the legend of Anzac, and it belongs to every Australian.”


"Not just those who trace their origins to the early settlers but those like me who are migrants and who freely embrace the whole of the Australian story as their own.


"For indigenous Australians, whose own wartime valour was a profound expression of the love they felt for the ancient land.


"And for Turkish-Australians who have not one but two heroic stories to tell their children." Ms Gillard said.

As well as thanking the Turks for their treatment of the Australian dead and subsequent honouring of Anzac Cove"
This is a speech that is as predictable to Tony Abbott saying “no” or “big new tax.”
The final ANZAC cliché is drinking and two-up. Some would argue they are traditions not clichés. I agree – for ex service men and women and in the case of the coin throwing game ex service personnel who served prior to 1950. For the rest of us it is a cliché or maybe just an excuse. It is an unfortunate and cruel joke that the parade starts in the cities (near the drinking venues) and takes them out of the area to shines and memorials. With all of the debate about the length of the parade, it would make sense to turn the march around and get them to head towards the drinking holes. How quickly would the diggers move then?
Betting on two up is as cliché as 20-somethings getting completely plastered at the Melbourne Cup, then guys in fluorescent tuxedos walking home barefoot whilst their girlfriend wearing little more than a handkerchief wears his shoes home, carrying her own shoes in her hand