Australian Knights and Dames

Source: dailytelegraph.com.au

Prime Minister Tony Abbott has used the prerogative of his office to reinstate the honours of Knights and Dames to honour people who have accepted public office rather than sought it and who can never...ever entirely return to private life.

The first recipients of this award are, outgoing Governor General Dame Quentin Bryce and the newly appointed Sir Goverrnor General General Peter Cosgrove (that is one hell of a title to fit on a business card).

Here are my suggestions for other recipients of the honour, Knights and Dames of the Order of Australia.

Dick Smith, sure he has sought public life but he has also had public life thrust upon him. He is a great Australia explorer, entrepreneur and philanthropist who staunchly promotes buying Australian made...at a time when even the Prime Minister himself was not made in Australia. Besides who would not enjoy hearing the queen asking a dick to kneel before her prior to the dick to arise.

Clare Werbeloff aka DameChk Chk Boom should be honoured for her contribution to Australian comedy. Her simplistic decryption of her eye witness account of a shooting in Kings Cross, Sydney, shot her to international prominence and provided instant fodder for the nation's comedians. When it was discovered that she in fact did not witness the shooting at all but instead had totally made up her version of events the satarists went into overdrive.

Dame Sam the Koala, rescued by Mark Pardew a firefighter with the Department of Sustainability and Environment during the 2009 Black Saturday bush fires in Victoria. Famously Mark assisted Dame Sam to drink from his water bottle. Sam has since died from an inoperable ovarian cyst, but during her short public life she represented the hope and resilience of all the people rebuilding their lives after the death and destruction of Australia's worst disaster.

Skippy, little did the mother of the eastern grey kangaroo know that she had birthed and raised what would become one of Australia's best known and beloved stars. There was nothing Skippy could not do, open doors, use the CB radio, rescue people from dished mine shafts...she even played the drums! Bestowing this honour on Skippy would also go a long way in equality for the GBLTI community, being that the kangaroo was female and yet the character was male.

Louise, Bridget and Frances Abbott, Prime Minister Abbott's three daughters have all had a public life forced upon them through the political ambitions of their father. The Australian public have had to witness them supporting their father. Riding, bikini-clad, on their fathers back piggy back style (and not as young children). When other young adults might be embarrassed having dinner in a restaurant with their parents the Abbotts have had to endure their father publicly declaring his strongly held opinions of a woman's role within a family and about sex before marriage. During his election campaign they also had their awkward-at-best appearance alongside their father on Big Brother Australia. Mr Abbott was desperately trying to demonstrate that he is in touch with young people and common Australians. He famously signed off with the phrase "I am the guy with the not too bad-looking daughters." Thanks for the vote of confidence Dad. Its the not too bad-looking Dames to you!

Extending the Queen

source: onlinepetart.com.au

Australia chooses to celebrate the Queens birthday in June except Western Australia that celebrates it in September, albeit that her actual birthday is April 21^st. The Commonwealths way of “extending the celebrations”.

This is all well and good if you actually want to extend the celebrations. How many celebrations are truly worthy of extension? Olympic Game opening ceremonies are arguably some of the most spectacular and expensive celebrations but who amongst the millions of international television audience would want it to last longer that the current 4 hours duration?

Extending the celebrations just sounds like a convenient excuse for not being organised in time for the actual event.  “I will give you your present next week” translates to “I did not buy your present in time”, “we can have the party on the weekend” really means “we have not got everything organised to celebrate on your day”.

In Australia’s case it is really a selfish decision to have the public holiday later in the year. March and April are already full of public holidays, with ANZAC Day, Easter and Labour Day. We just want to spread the public holidays out. Sorry Ma’am but we are all a bit busy doing nothing to celebrate your birth right now, how about in a couple of months, our diaries are clear in June

By way of gifts a public holiday is an unusual one. It is a great gift for the public but what is it for the Queen? In comparison to the lives of most, every day of the queens life seems to be a day off, dressing up, fine dining touring the country or internationally.

To be sure with an estimated personal wealth of $500million and access to assets of the crown worth in excess of $15billion, Queen Elizabeth II wanting of little.  I find it difficult to buy presents for my father, retired working – lower middle class. How difficult must it be for Princes Charles, Andrew and Edward and Princess Anne to buy gifts for their mother/ Did she ever receive a hand print or pinch bowl made of clay in art class, or have to display a birthday card decorated in dry macaroni?

People can celebrate early, giving gifts ahead of time. They are organised ahead of time – sure. They too will come up with excuses, “you will be too busy celebrating on the day”, “Just a little something to get your birthday started early”. This all means it is more convenient to give the gift now, we would prefer not to have to go out of our way to make contact on your actual birthday.

The risk is that between people celebrating early and others celebrating late that no one celebrates on the actual birthday. This is no celebration.

Delayed celebrations are mainstay for the monarch. She ascended to the throne following the death of her father on 6 February 1952. The realm did not get to celebrate with her until her coronation on 2 June 1953, some 16 months later. This seems like a long probation period for job from which one cannot be fired, and the only prerequisite is birth. She has however had to face a lifetime of questions about redundancy.