Seville

Flying economy with Vueling Airlines is a long way from first class with Emirates. The two hour delay prior to take off was not a good start. The only explanations given were;

1.     It takes a long time to organise a plane for flying

2.     The airport is a busy place

Given that this was not Vueling Airlines maiden flight I would have thought that these two issues would have been considered when creating the flight schedule.

Also there did not seem to be any imperative to actually check luggage, regardless of size or number of bags – never challenge a Vueling flight attendant to a game of Tetris.

The builders of Seville can sure build a palace or a cathedral but they sure can’t plan a city. Where Melbourne prides itself on the few laneways it has hidden amongst its grid of semi major arterials, Seville has done the opposite. There are a few main roads and the rest is a web of lanes and narrow alleys.

Plaza de Espana

The alleys were clearly designed in the time of horses and carts as that is all that can fit. Which might be why there are so many horses drawn carriages. In other cities I would say they are quaint tourist attractions. In Seville I think the horse/carriage combination is still a legitimate form of transport.

Seville has taken alfresco dining to a whole new level, so restaurants do not even have an inside. All dining is on the street…with the horses. Sevillians also love tapas. Tapas and pizza appears to be the only cuisines available, and even pizza can come in tapas size servings, that’s because everything on a menu can be served in a tapas portion size. No-one orders a main. Ordering a main in Seville would be as confusing to a waiter as not ordering fries is t o a waiter in New York.

Seville is very flat, and extremely walk-able. Sure you have to wander endlessly through a myriad of intersecting lanes and through countless squares but everything is no more than 10 minutes walk from the next place to visit, and there is so many secrets to discover along the way. It is also a great way to work off the limitless tapas and wine that cost €3 a bottle (nice wine too – none of the cheap stuff).

Original Seville wall

Seville was once surrounded by a wall as, as were many other European cities. It was the first line of defence against other kingdoms who might try to invade and conquer the land. Of course the wall failed, with the city ruled by the Romans then the Visgoths (German goths), the Muslims and then the Castilian Christians. There was also an internal rebellion. At best the wall slowed them down a bit.

Seville’s road layout is a much better defence than any wall. Armies could get lost for hours just trying to find the palace to invade.

For those considering constructing walls, learn from history. They are expensive, hard to defend and they fail. The Berlin wall, fail. The ice wall in the north, fail. The Chinese wall, fail.  The last one is even considered to be a great wall…but it still failed. When walls fail they also have a tendency to signal the end for the ruler of the day.

The Alcazar of Seville, the royal palace is as expansive as it is ornate. Similar to the city in which it is situated to the untrained eye the palace is a series of corridors, courtyards and rooms designed to confound guests. The palace also shows the artistic and architectural influences of rulers with Christian motifs sitting in harmony amongst Islamic symbols atop Roman pillars and arches. The designs sit in harmony together and in fact enhance each other’s beauty and elegance.

Cathedral - Seville

Cathedral ceiling

Seville is a very Catholic city, it was infamously the seat of the Inquisition. The Inquisition museum, which was the castle, or more accurately the foundations of the castle in which the inquisitors lived and the “trials” occurred. The museum really just talks about the rooms in the castle and their historic use, with only the slightest hint of the brutality and vindictive nature of the activities.

None of the audio or visual display worked, and looked like they have been in a state of disrepair for quite some time. It is like Seville does not want anyone inquiring unjustly into its past. Ironic really.

Cristo de la Expiracion bridge

Seville does like a church and a monastery. Despite being home to the largest gothic-style cathedral (and third largest church) in the world it has a lot of other religious buildings. Maybe it was the fear of the Inquisition, where not even a personal reference from the Pope himself was necessarily enough to prove one was catholic enough. Building a church or a monastery may have just saved the lives of the architect, builder and owner.

Seville is also bang up for a bridge. With a population of approximately 700,000 in a space that only take 3hours to circumnavigate on foot it has nine bridges. There is only one river and it is only on the western side of the city. Must be somehow connected to all of the horse and carts.

Barcelona

Jamon Experience

In my travels abroad I have learned many things. In southern Africa I learned that African time is real. At Westminster Choir College, Princeton New Jersey I learned that the letter “T” is an event. In Barcelona I learned that ham (jamon) is an experience.

There is a ham museum “Jamon Experience” with an amazing audio visual display on the creation of Iberian ham. The raising of the pig and the preparation of the meat boils down to a rule of two. The pigs graze for two years eating acorns in paddocks, the legs are then salted for two weeks before being dried for two years.

Interestingly in the display there was no mention of the killing of the pig, I can only imagine that the two hind legs when ripe just simply fall off for gathering and another two legs grow in their place.

The taste testing (including a couple of glass of wine or beer) was amazing, yes it was an experience! Six different grades and flavours of ham – whatever is served at Christmas dinner around the world, in comparison is in no way ham.

Casa Batllo chimneys

Light-well Casa Batllo

Gaudi is a revered artist and architect with good reason. The buildings are truly ground breaking in his creation of self-sustainable technologies and visually spectacular. His use of colours, shape and form are unsurpassed. That said, judging by his fluid lines he was either was substance affected or vision impaired. The third option; Gaudi is in fact Dr Seus.

My brain was created sans compass leaving me with no sense of direction*.  I may even be eligible for supports through the new National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS) as it is an impairment that is permanent and stops me from doing everyday things by myself. Upon visiting Parc del Laberint d’Horta I have discovered one advantage. I can solve mazes very quickly. Whilst other

Parc del Laberint d'Horta

people get confused as the zig-zag through a series of dead ends, switch-backs and endless intersections, my mind is already well accustomed. Armed with a sense of tranquil serenity I was calmly make my way to the centre of the maze and easily out the other side.

I am constantly amused and bemused by American tourists and their inability to comprehend that other countries are different from the Unites States. They have different architecture, different culture and different food. This seems to create a sense of bewilderment bordering on disdain. “Why are the buildings so different?” How do they understand each other if they do not speak English?” “I can’t tell how much anything is because there is no President on the money”

Placa de Catalunya

I sat and listened to four American aged in the late 50s discuss where they were going to eat lunch. In a city where Alfresco dining is plentiful with an amazing array of Tapas and food from across Europe I was keep to hear recommendations. I was disappointed. The two couples were earnestly debating the virtues of Burger King verses Starbucks. For those keen to know the answer it was the former because it would be cheaper.  Oh well why I have food that is fresh and flavoursome when you could eat mass produced sugary food by-products. It does make me wonder what Americans think of Australia’s Aborigines. Just how did this culture survive well over 40,000 years without SUVs and soft drink served in buckets?

La Catedral

Talking of food, tapas in Spain is nothing like tapas in Melbourne. Surprise! It is cheaper, the portions are bigger and the food is much more flavoursome.  And the sangrias… served in sizes Americans can understand. After a litre of sangria for lunch the concept of a siesta makes a lot more sense. And there is a chocolate museum!

It was the Spaniard who introduced the cocoa bean to the wide world, specifically their religious leaders. The traditional hot chocolate is so good and nourishing that it was the one thing priest were allowed to consume it during periods of fasting. The nuns were the ones who first added sugar. The Spanish serve it hot, rich and thick. So thick that there is an active choice to either chew or drink it. Traditionally it is served with bizcocho, a light sponge biscuit for dipping.

With it being of such religious significance the church should consider changing the elements of communion to hot chocolate with bizcocho, instead of wine and wafers. More people would attend church.

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* To read more about my directional disability visit http://anotherfreakin.blogspot.com.es/2016/05/get-lost.html

Its all class - Emirates first class

I have recently had the opportunity to fly first class from Australia to Spain. This journey is approximately 26 hours in the air so why not first class. I entered my chauffer driven town car at 2.30pm, precisely the time it was booked to take me to Melbourne Airport for my first class Emirates flights through to Barcelona. It would also mark the time that I was no longer Darren Freak but rather “Sir”.

The only exception to this was a flight attendant who decided that my last name was the perfect opener to a conversation where the primary objective was to hit on me. Finally my last name has a benefit!

First class with Emirates means no queues at check in, border control or boarding. The Priority Pass gets you not only to the front of the line but all the way through without breaking stride.

Melbourne first class lounge

Melbourne first class buffet

The first class lounge was empty which lead to me getting A LOT of personalised service. Coupled with complimentary top shelf wines and spirits and quality food this was the most enjoyable 2hours I have ever spent waiting for a flight.

I selected steak, chicken, couscous, sautéed vegetables, cheese, and chocolates… and did I mention the alcohol?

Upon boarding Sir was ushered to his pod at which point all of the first class cabin crew introduced themselves and presented me with an essential item for the flight; Dom Perignon champagne, leather toiletries bag (deodorant, shaver with cream, toothpaste and brush, cologne and male perfumes), pyjamas, a basket of nibbles, slippers, newspapers, magazines, hot scented towel and more champagne.

Dom Perignon

Just before take off there is the offer of a shot or Arabic coffee and stuffed dates, apparently it is important to Emirates that regular bowel movements are maintained during the long haul flight.  I now understand why it tales so long for a plane to take off after boarding. It has nothing to do with readying the aircraft and cross-checks it is about pampering first class passengers.

Only four of the fourteen first class pods were occupied so again the service was very attentive if not just to keep all of the staff occupied. And then of course there was special attention from the attendant who thought my surname was interesting.

Then there were the instructions, how to operate the seat, the leather seat. Yes the seat has enough functions that a tutorial is required. The multi-setting massage function was a welcome surprise. The 200 channel flat screen television, the personal mini bar, the writing material – with on board Wifi, in 2016 I am not sure who is penning a handwritten letter, though the pen itself makes a nice souvenir. Then there is the menu.

Emirates first class pods

personal mini-bar

Everything in the pod, including the privacy doors, electronic window shades and three different lights can be controlled from the tablet-style control panel. It can take a good 30 minutes for Sir to familiarise himself with the capabilities of his pod.

As soon as the seatbelt sign is switched off attendants arrive with the twelve page menu including more alcohol, appetisers, entrees, mains, desserts and - for those who are still hungry - light snacks.

Sir skipped the appetisers. For entrée I had the Arabic mezze consisting of 4 different dips, artichokes, stuffed vine leaves, lamb kibbeh, cheese sambousek, spinach fatayer, cherry tomatoes, pastries and five different types of bread. For an appetiser it is filling. The quantity resembles the spread that would be put out to welcome guests to a small dinner party, or an average individual American.

Arabic mezze

It is to be noted that the tray table is not in any way a tray. It is a table. Big enough to warrant a linen table cloth when the endless parade of food is served.

Grilled chicken with roast potatoes, steamed carrots and beans for main accompanied by a glass of 2000 Chateau Montrose.  This was a more modest portion size. All delicious. Then topped this off with a chocolate and caramel dome. A mousse/cake mound with a caramel sauce centre served with a raspberry coulis and an accompanying glass of 2005 Chateau d’Yquem dessert wine. This could be one of the best desserts I have ever had.

Of course the 21 year old Chivas Regal Royal Salute Whisky (limited edition to celebrate the Coronation of Queen Elizabeth 11) kept coming, each time with a serve of warm salted nuts. What man does not like his nuts warm and salty?

It goes without saying that all of the beverages are served in quality glassware with alcohol served from real bottles – no little plastic replicas in first class. The food all served on fine bone china with metal cutlery.

First class shower

For first class, there is an on-board shower. And, yes, Sir would like to avail himself of this service before changing into his pyjamas. It is a point of frustration when a on board shower is larger than Sir’s own shower at home. On returning to my pod my bed had been made up for me complete with a mattress and a duvet for a few hours sleep, drift off to the realisation that the cabin ceiling is covered in tiny twinkling lights replicating the night sky.

A brief one hour stop in Singapore first class lounge which is just enough time for a hot chocolate some cheese and a brownie. It is to be noted that the Singapore and Melbourne lounges are almost identical, just like any “new” estate developed by a land lease company.

Boarding the plane for the Singapore - Dubai leg of my journey it all starts again. I now have two toilet bags, two sets of pyjamas, two baskets of nibbles and two Emirates biros. If only I ever hand wrote things.

Chocolate mousse mound with caramel centre

Having already eaten a full dinner bigger than the weekly rations the Australian government provides refugees in its off-shore processing centres I selected a light snack on the second flight – a chicken pie. Sir had to wait 15-20 minutes for this order as the food is cooked to order – with sincerest apologies. As everyone knows there is a separate stomach specifically for desserts, so Sir chose the selection of pastries consisting of a pistachio japonaise, two fruit tartlets and a slice of cheese cake, with a glass of Taylors 40year old tawny port from Douro Portugal.

Dubai first class lounge is different from its cousins in Melbourne and Singapore. First of all it is lager than some airports with couches some bigger than a single bed. There is a separate dining room and a massage/spa centre. The general are also has two fountains  AND a still water feature. Full buffet continental or hot breakfast (or both) – amazing croissant! There is alcohol available in a very strict non alcohol consuming country which begs the question why was there no bacon?

onboard entrance to first class

Dubai first class lounge

Upon boarding for the final leg of this journey to Barcelona Sir had to briefly mingle with commoners at the gate before being called to board first.  This time we all entered through the main cabin door and then ascended the stairs. Sir had the very first suite which gave great pleasure watching the faces of business class passengers faces change from one of quiet smugness as the also climbed the stairs to the dimming in the eyes as they walk through what the first class cabin and realise that they are getting better but not the best.

Being in the first seat, although exciting in its own right does mean that the suite is approximately 20cm narrower to the suites from the third row back. They are all just over 2m long.

More Dom Perignon and more Chivas Regal.

Braised beef cheek

For lunch Sir selected the chicken and sun dried tomato tapende with  a mushroom salad with peppers and fennel entrée followed by braised veal cheek with mashed potato carrots, beans  and horseradish, with a side of 4 different breads including fresh toasted garlic bread. This was by far my favourite main and well worth the 25 minute wait for it to be prepared. The accompanying wine was Sarget de Gruaud Larose 2003 from Bordeaux France – a very light and smooth wine with a hint of red wine on the palate and after tones of yummmmmmm.

For desert Sir had the chocolate and apricot pudding and another glass of 2005 Chateau d’Yquem dessert wine.

A sneaky 2 hour sleep and another shower.

On arrival at Barcelona my Emirates driver was waiting with his Mercedes resplendent in leather and timber interior finish. No longer Sir but now “Mr Darren.” Combined, I have my new moniker – Mr Darren, Sir.

From apartment to hotel it was 32hours; three flights, three lounges, at least six meals, bottomless alcohol, two showers, two town cars and more warm nuts than any man needs Mr Darren, Sir has arrived…having left my hotel once Mr Darren, Sir has already been lost for over an hour.